he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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