i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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