A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
ok first of all what the fuck
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
