mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Randomize
