I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im holly from the hills drunk
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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