Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Having a random hookup so left but love u
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
