So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
