Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
