is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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