So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
