What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
