Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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