I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
