I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
