i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
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