True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
