if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
