Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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