Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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