Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
