I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize