um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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