i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
