I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
