Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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