I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
