You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
