You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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