Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were trust falling into bushes
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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