But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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