Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
