marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
