did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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