Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
