I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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