no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
