I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
