I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
