I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
