The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
