I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
