from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
