I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
