im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
