Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
