hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
