It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
