No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize