I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
