Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
