It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
