Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this beer tastes like vomit already
either way he was missing a nipple.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
