I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i think my cat just said my name.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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