i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
