Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
