I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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