i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
