i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
