i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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