I need help removing her.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Oh god it's open bar.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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