i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize