dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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