She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
