He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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