Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
